As if I could come up with a better title than that? My yoga practice has been compartmentalized to precisely that: parts. I’ve resumed work in a dismal office to make ends meet; thus sacrificing the great American dream to pursue my ambition as a small business owner (yoga studio). Rest assured I am working twice as hard to kickstart my business while simultaneously juggling this full-time job. I am weary of everything in and around me. I cannot be certain this job will sustain me. Each moment that I am hear my spirit whimpers with grief. My heart is absolutely clear on my path, however my bank account begs to differ. As I try to sort out the parts: the important, the essential, the indulgent, the glorious, the shed-able, I find my yoga practice to be little more than a stretch behind my office chair here and there. I’ve tried to practice in my residence however there are obstacles that prevent a deep and meaningful practice from occurring; namely the fact that the carpet is saturated with dog urine. I occasionally become so desperate for yoga that I lay a sheet down over the soiled carpet and attempt a few postures. I’ve tried attending local yoga classes at my gym. There are two teachers whom I trust to take me from my suffering to bliss however I doubt most yoga instructors at this particular location have ever undergone formal teacher training. It’s alarming that so many unsuspecting yoga students entrust their bodies to instructors who “teach” (i.e. act) for their own gratification. As a result, my yoga practice, my understanding and appreciation of my own body, my awareness of spirit, mind and wellness have dwindled to this: parts. As I write this, my body aches every where. My neck is an inch shorter than normal. My shoulders slouch around me like a limp, wool blanket weighing me down. My fingers are brittle. My arms are noodles. My sacrum aches. My belly swells. My legs fold uncomfortably under a cheap desk while my crunched, suffocating toes are confined to old heels I wore in my former life. I hurt. I know how to not hurt. It requires more than parts. It requires a WHOLE…..thing. A whole session. A whole day. A whole year. A whole commitment. A whole person.
All things change…as will these parts….as will this job….as will my attitude. Holding on to the idea of prosperity. Let me be a part of Prosperity.
